I have officially lost my mind. For the past five months I have been trying to keep it all together; Having a baby, attempting to keep house, entertain family, maintain a career, and show up to places looking like I have gotten some sleep. For the most part I feel that I have done a decent job. However, yesterday I did something that made me feel like failure. I lost my flip video camera. I suspect that I lost it prior to yesterday, but it was yesterday that I realized it went missing. This video camera has some of the most precious memories of my baby and yes, I do put the highlights on the blog but for the most part there is tons of footage that had not been saved on a computer. I turned my house upside down. I looked everywhere. I looked under every piece of furniture and this only made me feel worse because I realized that I do not clean under the couches and soon Nate will be crawling to these dusty dirty locations. My mind kept repeating, what kind of mother loses the video camera with all the memories on it. I entered into a deep self loathing. (thank you mother for taking my desperate phone calls). I obsessed about for the better part of 24 hours. I lost sleep over it, and I really do not have any extra sleep (or energy for that matter) to be giving to anything like this. In a last ditch effort I decided to dig through the trash. So like a mad woman I got out there this afternoon with gloves and went through the big out door trash can and pulled out garbage and after a few minutes I FOUND THE FLIP CAMERA!!!! I was elated. I was not a terrible mother after all. I left like willy wonka with the golden ticket. I cannot believe that I almost threw away my precious memories, but I am not going to go there. I am just going to be thankful that I have the camera and some more precious memories to share with you.